My former wife, Patricia, died peacefully at our son Andy’s home in Bury St Edmunds, on October 15th. Her lungs gave up.
Paddy and I met and were married when I was still a student, in 1960, and built a family together for 25 years.
Sadly, our relationship did not survive my career move to USA.
I remember her with affection as a cheerful companion and strong supporter during my rigorous training in medicine, and in the tough early years trying to develop a world-class department at The Middlesex Hospital in London. She was a gracious and generous host to many colleagues and overseas trainees, many of whom became (and remain) life-long friends.
More than anything of course I remember and thank her for being a devoted mother to Andrew and Nicola, especially when they were children and I was too busy working, travelling (and maybe playing golf). I am perhaps biased, but I think that Andy and Nicky have turned out beautifully,
They have chosen great partners – Fiona and Julian – and produced extraordinary (grand) children -Alexandra, Charlotte, Isobelle, Perdita and Jack). All of course are deeply saddened by losing “Nanmar”, but gave her a wonderful send off.
She was buried in a woodland ceremony as autumn leaves floated down in bright sunshine, and celebrated in a fun service of remembrance, which included a remarkable eulogy by Andy, readings from the grandchildren and a song written by 13 year old Charlotte. Who could hold back tears when she and Issy sang “This is a sad song, I wrote it for you. Let it touch your feelings, let it shine or break right through. Please don’t cry cos I can see your watery eyes…….It’s hard not to want to see you, it’s SO hard not to want you here. I used to sing to you, while you sat in your chair……?”
The affection that surrounded her was equally obvious when more than 100 people enjoyed a cheerful wake at the local golf club in Radlett, a place (and many people) that I hadn’t seen for 30 years.
I offer my thanks to all who loved and supported her, especially in difficult times.
We are all sad now, but sustained by happy memories.
Peter, I’m sorry to read the loss of your former wife but so impressed by the ongoing relationship that sustained your children, their spouses and grandchildren. Your remembrance is beautifully and thoughtfully written in such a manner seldom expressed when a marriage doesn’t survive life’s changes.
Thank you for including me in your remembrances of this phase of your life. May God continue
to bless you and your family.
Peace and blessings, Joanne
Remarkable and lovely eulogy Peter. Sympathies to Nicola and Andy. Loss of a parent is truly tough. I was terribly touched by this piece of writing. Thankyou for including me.
Peter, I am sorry to hear of your former wife’s passing. Your beautiful words honoring her are very touching.
I send loving thoughts and prayers especially to your children and their families.
Peter, I am so sorry to hear of your family’s recent loss. Your words of fondness speak well of you and your former wife. I’m sure your presence there was heartwarming for all the family. May you all be blessed with wonderful memories, old and new. Beautiful Grand children, indeed. Our best always to you and Marion.
Pat R Ross
Sorry for you (and the world’s loss). Thanks for sharing some of your and her life journeys and the wonderful children and grandchildren.
What a beautiful memory you provided about obviously a lovely woman. God Rest her soul.
Kella
Dear Peter ,
This message comes from far away in Madagascar where I have just received the very sad news about Paddy.
Your message was most moving. Jan and I came to know Paddy well through the crossing of our paths in Southampton and St Thomas’. I have happy memories of times together long ago.
My thoughts are with you
Mike
Peter,
Sorry to hear about Paddy.
Dick
Peter, Andy and Nicola, very sorry to hear of your loss. I have fond memories of evenings in Radlett with Patricia and family. All of you made “guest physicians” like me feel at home.
Peter, I am sad to hear of Paddy’s death. My sincere condolences to you, Andy, Nicky and your grandchildren at this sad time.
Peter, thank you for sharing this important family happening. You very kindly draped grace, love, and importance over your family memories, and loss as only you could do so well. This is All Souls season and it is good to spend time reflecting on what a deceased person has given you and what you have learned from them. You certainly do have a wonderful family who had a wonderful mother.